topherchris

My dearest Abigail,

How’s it going, sweetness? So, the boys and I have been acting as party planners to figure out exactly how we should be celebrating our newly found independence. It’s not going well. You know how it is with committees… we can’t agree to anything.

Ugh, we can’t even agree on the name on this damn thing. Half of us want this meaningful anniversary to be called “Independence Day” and the other half are fighting for “The Forth of July.” I can see both sides. I mean, the bottom line is about our independence. On the other hand, if we don’t tie it to a specific date then we’ll have a floating holiday where people only celebrate it on a Friday or Monday for a long weekend. Crazy talk, I know, but you can’t be too careful.

As for how this anniversary should be properly commemorated, we’re not doing so hot. So far we have “horseshoe throwing,” “cooking cow flesh on open fires,” and “setting fire to metal rods so they look all sparkly” firmly on the list. We’re also looking at “taking the family to the park for the first time all year,” “forcing car dealerships to offer excellent deals,” and “watching the Boston Pops on PBS for an agonizingly long time just so you don’t miss the cool part at the end where they fire off real cannons.”

Kill me now.

We just want this holiday to be different, you know? Do you think it’s okay if we make it all about getting totally shitfaced? That’s my own personal idea, but I’m afraid to bring it up with the other guys. Tell me what you think.

Love you long time,
John Adams