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Okay, folks. This story I’m about to tell you is fantastical, but I can assure you it’s all true. Every word of it. Granted, it’s a story about a dream I had — but I want you to know that you can rest assured knowing that I’m not embellishing or otherwise distorting any aspect of this dream whatsoever.

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles and I were madly in love.

During the course of this dream, we met, we wooed, we awkwardly made out. Flashes of it are still coming back. We’re backstage someplace, she was prepping to perform. I got her a bottle of water. She was taken aback by my thoughtfulness. I asked her how she was. She was flabbergasted by my caring nature. I tripped on something and fell down. She was overcome with amazement at my ability to make her laugh.

It was like a dream. Which it was. Within a dream.

We left each other knowing that something had changed within us. We were like children. We were babies again. We were free. We were definitely going to have sex at the next possible opportunity.

And then I awoke.

I don’t even fucking like Beyoncé. What the hell was that about?

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  1. wastednwicked reblogged this from topherchris
  2. 0hmsz0ya reblogged this from kari-shma
  3. sylvysparrow reblogged this from kari-shma and added:
    This is hilarious….I really did like the “we were definitely going to have sex at the next possible opportunity.” part.
  4. -yellowchild reblogged this from kari-shma
  5. kari-shma reblogged this from topherchris and added:
    my two favorite parts
  6. yellowbricks reblogged this from topherchris and added:
    It’s just like the time that...about Brad Pitt, whom
  7. albertinho reblogged this from topherchris and added:
    For one night only...Jay-Z If only you slept long enough
  8. sparklepants reblogged this from inothernews and added:
    “…Babies… definitely going to have sex…”???? SCANDAL.
  9. inothernews reblogged this from topherchris
  10. topherchris posted this