How some people think I think guns work
Guns are conscious and have feelings. They are angry and evil. Once a gun itself has decided to go on a murderous rampage — as they all inevitably do — it’s simply a matter of finding a human (any human is fine, even perfectly stable ones) to sink its deadly trigger into. The gun’s trigger is able to control the human through a delicate but powerful process of brainwashing, forcing the innocent human into horrible, violent action.
How I actually think they work
The “gun problem” that I’m talking about has little to do with guns, at least on the surface. A gun is just a tool. Like a toaster. Toasters are designed to toast bread. Shotguns are designed to kill animals. Handguns are designed to kill people. I don’t particularly like the last one existing so much in our society, but that’s they way it is.
So here we are in America in 2012, and lots of people cope with their stress, disappointment, and other mental illness by picking up a gun and using it on innocent people.
Would you rather me call this a nationwide mental health problem? I’d be fine with that, especially if that means we could do a much better job of treating our mentally ill. But — and here’s my point — when people intent on causing violence pick up a knife or some nunchucks or a big rock, they cannot possibly do the same amount of damage that a gun can.
So, like I said: America has a gun problem. We don’t have a nunchuck problem.
I haven’t said “gun control” once, as far as I know, but most of the negative responses to these types of posts will include some sort of refutation of either laws currently enforced or laws that don’t exist. I’m not interested in that. I’m not here to solve this. I can’t solve it. (I don’t actually believe it can be solved, so there’s that.)
I’m saying, simply, there’s a problem. Even if you love your guns and you have a multitude of sincere reasons for loving them, and you’re a responsible owner who keeps them locked up safely when not in use, and you really think they’re the only thing protecting you from bad guys… you can still admit that America has a gun problem.
If you can’t admit it, I’ll have to assume that you’re an asshole.
That’s all I’m saying.