Despite any appearance of candor, I really do censor myself here
I’ve been thinking a little bit about this whole Interblog thing — the really cool people I’ve met and the bullshit I’ve read about myself — and I’ve realized that there exists a plethora of ways that I censor myself in my “voice” on here. I don’t like it, it sucks, but so it goes.
If you’re expecting me to say something at this point like “well, that’s over, from now on it’s the real me,” you’re going to be disappointed. No grand line-in-the-sand here, no slow clap for me being me, no inspiring denouement while the music swells… It’s not going to happen.
There are three main reasons why:
1. I don’t want to offend all of you.
Keep in mind, I’m perfectly content to offend some of you. There’d be no point of this at all if I tried to stay within a safe little comfort zone: It’d be boring for me and most of you. If I can say “motherfucker” a few times and not lose you, then we’re cool. As for my sense of humor: I think literally everything is fair game, as long as it’s not trite. Except women with weight issues. I’m being totally serious here. I don’t know why, but that irks the shit out of me as “humor.”
2. People I know in real life read this.
Hi mom! No, just kidding. But seriously, I’m never going to open up like I do at my AA meetings knowing that friends and co-workers read this. I just lied about AA. I’m not in AA, and that was insensitive to people who are. But you get the drift. I can’t bear my soul for a fine reader out there in Indiana, because people right next-door to me who could physically hurt me also subscribe to my feed. (Friends, don’t take that I wish you to leave and not let the door hit you on your collective asses. I’m delighted to be in your bookmarks. You wouldn’t want to see me cry baby tears anyway.)
3. What you post on the net isn’t always easy to escape.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m still holding onto my chances for being a Congressman one day. That flew out the window the day I joined the Communist Party for a year (seriously). And President, as we all know, is out. A white male just doesn’t have a chance anymore. Despite those lofty ambitions which are now impossible, I assume I’ll be working in the web-dev industry for as long as I can. (I’m excellent at PHP/MySQL, web design, have intermediate skills in Flash, can chop up WordPress however you like, and some other stuff. Any offers?) I don’t feel that I need to be anonymous. If what I say on the privacy of my own webspace could ever keep me from getting a job, then I wouldn’t want that job. But, there’s still an instinctual hesitation in regards to my career that keeps me from going “too far.”
That’s a little more of an insight into my head than I think I’ve ever posted on here. Certainly says more than an LOLCat pic does. But is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hmm?
Alright, enough. I need a funny photo, quick! I’m totally doing Tumblr wrong!
↓ Tumblr users who liked, reblogged, or answered
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iamsebastian
reblogged this from
topherchris
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glamorouswhimsy
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jgh
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jgh
reblogged this from
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and added:
Dear Tumblr, Why does TopherChris have haters? Are...legit reasons? Or
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urdoingitwrong
reblogged this from
topherchris
and added:
had to. Or else I lose.
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topherchris
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